July 27th 2017 Robyn Marciniak

I have just heard that out there in the land of the internet there is someone actually offering advice that is beyond comprehension. 

I’m paraphrasing but basically their advice to test if your relationship is a keeper you need to walk up to your partner and tell them you want a sex change and if they do not respond in an affirmative manner then you are to walk out and never look back. 

Now I have great problems with many aspects of this advice. 

Firstly, if you need to get a shock reaction in order to see if your partner is accepting of you and all your quirks then you do not know your partner enough in the first place. 

Secondly, what do you do if they say ok, what next, you have just told someone you want a sex change. Attempt to now explain that you were only testing them and it’s not actually your wish to change sex. How would your partner react to being tested like this? 

Thirdly, this is a statement that has come out of the blue and expecting a properly constructed response on the spot that dictate your partners feelings and desires is unrealistic. Adjustments and time to comprehend all aspects of what has been said is needed not 2 seconds. 

There are better ways to assess the strength of your relationship without putting your partner through an emotional wringer. Talking is the best measure and time to fully understand each other is essential. 

I was told and now believe it to be true that some people love to constantly test partners because they are insecure in themselves and therefore their relationships. Like monkeys flinging shit at each other, it always starts out small and the tests get bigger over time and just when the tests get ridiculous they dump the person and get a new challenge. This is in no way a reflection on the partner but on the insecure person needing constant reassurance they are being loved. 

Having to constantly reassure someone that they are loved is draining on a relationship. Showing love and appreciation for you partner is a healthier option. There is a difference between the two, the first is a constant beratement of questions around fact finding “Do you love me, are you devoted to just me?” the second is more of a natural statement that is stated in nonspecific manner and of their own devise. 

If you’re wondering how to get it all started, start by doing this yourself to your loved ones. Tell them you love them in a manner that fits the moment. When they do things you appreciate tell them this but do not wait days to do it, do it right then in the moment. 

This doesn’t have to be limited to your partner, your family and friends might respond better is you let them know how much they mean to you. 

Give it a go, see how people respond to you, you may see some rewards sooner than you think.





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